Reactions
by Frisco
Summary: Missing scene from Irresponsible. John's reaction to the ending of Irresponsible. First quote is from the episode.


Kolya's body hit the ground with a dull thud. The echo of gunfire faded to be replaced by a deafening silence. Everyone seemed frozen in the moment. "Put down your weapons," John ordered as he began lowering his gun. One of the Genii squatted down next to Kolya. _Was it really over?_ The thought flitted through John's mind as he raised his gun back to shoulder level, bracing the grip with his left hand, and cautiously approached. He thought his shot had been true, that the bullet had been straight through his heart (if he even had one). But his 9 mil had barely even cleared his holster before he'd fired. And Kolya, that rat bastard, was sneaky. That thought spurred him forward a bit quicker, watching for the slightest twitch of a finger. As he reached the body, Kolya's cold, dead eyes stared back at him. John's eyes flicked down to Kolya's chest. With a small, grim smile, he noted the hole in Kolya's jacket right over his heart. The jacket hardly had any blood on it. Kolya was dead before his body hit the ground.

As John holstered his gun, he noticed the villagers had already unarmed the Genii soldiers. Everyone was buzzing with excitement. Everyone except his team. As he glanced up, he met Teyla's eyes. She let out a breath as her eyes flitted over his form. "Must be checking for bullet holes," he thought. None of the Genii bullets had pierced the personal shield, but he glanced down at his chest, arms and legs just in case. Nope. Still all in one piece. His peripheral vision caught movement as Beckett moved to kneel next to Kolya. Carson just couldn't help his...doctorness. No matter what had happened, if Kolya had still been breathing, Carson would have tried to save him. "Leave him, Doc," Sheppard said. "He's dead."

"I'd like to make that determination myself, if you don't mind, Colonel," Carson responded. As the doctor went through the motions, Sheppard glanced up at Rodney. McKay just looked relieved. He'd hated Kolya almost as much as Sheppard. Kinda sad when John thought about it. Rodney wasn't military. He'd gone through a lot of changes since coming to the Pegasus Galaxy, many of them good. This one wasn't.

John looked over at Ronon. He looked...was that disappointment? John chuckled quietly at that idea and briefly wondered if it was from John killing Kolya too quickly or for Ronon not getting the chance. Ronon met his eyes and nodded his approval.

"Well, Doc?" John asked. "What's the verdict?"

Carson sighed and stood. "Shot clean through the heart, Colonel. This one won't ever be bothering you again."

"Oh, thank God," breathed McKay. He turned away and began looking for his equipment. "Can we go home now?"

His team gathered their belongings and said goodbye to the villagers. He gave Lucius the now dead shield, and they headed to the gate. He took point with Ronon and Teyla at the back so the two doctors were in the middle. Sheppard wasn't in the mood for conversation at the moment. His muscles were stiffening and he could feel the bruises he'd received from the close call with that bomb. He could hear Rodney and Carson trading jabs behind him and could feel Ronon and Teyla's eyes on him. He focused his eyes on the path and kept moving, but his mind was back in the village square. He replayed it over in his mind: drawing his gun, pulling the trigger, watching Kolya fall, watching him team watch him.

The reactions varied. The villagers hadn't known about the run-ins he'd had with Kolya. They saw a threat to their village eliminated and rejoiced in their freedom. Carson seemed, well, not quite sad, but definitely not excited. He hated death, pain and suffering. While Beckett had no love lost for Kolya, he never got used to watching men die. Rodney had been relieved. Teyla, while a bit harder to read, had seemed grateful this sordid affair with this particular Genii was over. He knew Ronon approved of his actions. But what did he feel?

Sheppard thought it over as they neared the gate. Nothing. He didn't feel anything. Not relief or excitement or joy. The hatred for Kolya and what he'd done to him was still there. Kolya had attacked his city, stabbed McKay, threatened Weir at gunpoint, and had almost killed them over a ZPM he couldn't even use. And that hadn't been enough. He had captured Sheppard and fed him to a Wraith. A Wraith! That was unheard of in the Pegasus Galaxy according to Teyla. He could feel the rage coming to a boil again as he remembered.

Sheppard jumped and wheeled as a hand touched his arm. "Colonel?" Beckett questioned. "Are you OK, lad?" Sheppard blinked at him and then realized that he had been standing in front of the DHD for several seconds. "Sorry, Doc," he replied. "Just lost in thought. Dial it up, McKay." He moved out of Rodney's way and thought back one more time to Kolya's body lying dead in the village. Killing him had not released the burden John had been carrying - the hatred, rage and humiliation of his capture and torture. The thought of forgiving that sorry excuse for a human being went against the very fiber of his being, but John knew it was the only way to get rid of the darkness he'd been carrying in his soul for the past few months. John sighed as he went through the gate and let go. Let that burden stay on the planet with Kolya. Time to move on.

The End.


End file.
